Self-Published Authors: Why are You Paying for these Services?

The thing about self-publishing, something I really like, is that it's very DIY. You're in control of everything. You get to make your own cover (or not), you edit and format it (or not), and you're in charge of all your own promotion (or not).

So then, why the (or not)'s?

Some people (like me, in many ways) are just writers. They write a story, edit it, it's finished...and then what? Just a few years ago, if you had just completed a 80,000 word novel, your options were pretty much either to write to agents and editors asking for representation, or store it in the back of your closet and/or hard drive and write another book. Self publishing at this point was more or less a joke - an option, sure, but it was highly unlikely you were ever going to successfully sell any copies.

Now, though, that third "self publishing" option has opened up, and many authors, both new and experienced, are taking advantage. Many previously traditionally published authors have even switched over to 100% self-publishing, because they can often make more with a 70% royalty option over something like 8%.

But a trend that I'm witnessing, and am not in favor of, is new authors throwing their money away on things that are perfectly reasonable to do for free.

Granted, before I receive death threats and a downvote brigade, I do want to point out some things that, in my opinion, are somewhat reasonable to pay for.

• Cover Art - I have seen some wonderful cover art that authors have commissioned others to design. I did not do this, because in my opinion, it wasn't worth spending money on a cover, when I wasn't sure I was going to make it back. Although, I have seen cases where a designer just purchases some cover art, crops it a bit, and adds a title. (More on this later.)
• Stock photos - This can be lumped in with "Cover Art", because I know a lot of authors purchase stock photos for their covers. This is perfectly reasonable, and I plan on doing exactly this for when I release "The Night Life" - I even already have a few in mine (there's a girl who looks very close to how I imagine Tanya Roberts, one of my main characters!). This is especially useful when you're writing about something from say, the 1800's.
• Editors - I am still wary on this one; I do believe that every author should try and proofread their own work; however, an editor might be worth the money for some people.
• Advertisements: This one is more of a "maybe", but if you find a popular website willing to host an advertisement for a day (and hopefully not a pay-per-click ad), there may be value in this.

That said, I do not think new authors, especially ones without at least a few titles under their belt, should really be paying for most of these services, save for some stock photos for their cover art. I think authors that over-promote one book are mostly ridiculous - I want to slap most of them and ask if they're even working on another book (because the time some of these people put into their single title is just too much!). 

Not to mention the things I've seen people pay for - most of it could easily be done yourself, for free. Such things include:

• Bad Cover Art Designers - I once saw a case where the designer herself just purchased some cover art, cropped it, and added a title. And the portion of the image they cropped was so small that the cover was blurry. What?
• Blog Tours - Some companies, for the low low price of $99, will set up "blog tours" for you. But, why not just email some bloggers yourself and ask, "Hey, would you mind if I did a guest post?" You may have to email a lot of bloggers, depending on what you;re aiming for, but it's much better than spending $100 for somebody else to do the same thing.
• Ebook Formatting - I really don't understand this one. By the time I published Family History: Part 2, the formatting took me maybe an hour (and that was just because I needed to go back through and reformat all the chapter heads). 
• Setting up a Facebook Fan Page - I recently saw the blog post of somebody who paid a company to set up her Facebook Fan Page. Again, you can do this yourself in a few minutes, and you don't even have to pay anybody. In this case, this particular author had even set up another Facebook page for herself for one of her books. What? You can do one Facebook page, but two is just too many?
• Reviews - Admittedly, I haven't actually run into this one personally, though I have heard stories of people who pay others to review their books for them. 

That's all I can think of at the moment, though I know there's plenty more out there.

Please, people, stop paying for some of these services. How you're willing to shell out this much money, to sell a few extra copies of a $2.99 book, is beyond me.

The Twitter Experiment, Part 3: What My Twitter Looks Like right Now.

Except for the yellow. That was just so I would officially have all colors of the rainbow featured in this picture.

7 Methods You Should NOT Use to Advertise Your Book

1. Do not, under any circumstances, go streaking in the middle of a crowded sporting event and write the title of your book in large letters on your back with a sharpie.
2. Skywriting. From what I've seen, this only exists in the movies. However, I do live in Wyoming, so maybe this does occur in larger towns, and I've just never seen it.
• 2a. Skywriting in Wyoming as a form of advertisement is probably a really awful idea.
3. If you or somebody know works delivering pizzas on the side, I would suggest not writing the name of your book on the inside of each pizza box for the people you deliver to to find. This is especially true if you write erotica; opening a pizza box only to find something like "DEEP THRUST" or "MY FIRST LESBIAN EXPERIENCE" might be unnerving for your customers.
4. Myspace. Nobody uses Myspace anymore.
5. If you ever feel the need to take revenge on somebody, and spray-painting graffiti on their property seems like the best way to get back at them, do not take that as an opportunity to squeeze in some free advertising. That said, you would probably make the job of a policeman a little easier that day.
6. I would suggest not asking your drug dealer to "spread the word", especially if you go by the pseudonym of "Heisenberg". 
7. Finally, in all seriousness, telling NOBODY about your book isn't helping anybody. So go on, if nothing else, call your mother and tell her you're a published author.

Does Anybody Else Ever Find is Strange that, Despite the Last 50 Years Worth of Cultural Change, Modern "Household Product" Commercials Continue to Star a "Stay-at-home Mom" Role?

Whew. Sorry for the long title.

But yes. Am I the only one occasionally bothered by the continued "Stay-at-Home" mom role often portrayed in commercials?

Really, it's not so much that they're still portraying the whole "Stay at home mom" thing. That is okay. Obviously, that still exists, despite what this woman likes to think. I support stay-at-home mothers if that is what they choose to do. That said, I also support and acknowledge the existence of stay-at-home fathers, single parents (both mothers and fathers), and of course, gay and lesbian couples with children (gasp!). Oh, and though they are rarer (to my knowledge), there are polygamist families, even in the United States (also, they're probably not all Mormon families living in Utah).

However, right now, I'm not here to discuss the number of different types of families out there. Really, I'm asking a question to people in charge of advertising these common household products: People, why are you not updating your commercials? Even Television producers are way ahead of you all (and I'm not talking about anything airing on TLC).

Before I get accused of appearing ignorant, I'll take a moment to point out that I do understand more than it may seem at the moment.

• Right now, I imagine that most people in control of this kind of thing are Baby Boomers. Here is (what I believe to be) a somewhat relevant XKCD Comic. (However, with SOPA blackouts, I can't actually check and make sure I'm linking to the right one.) Most Baby Boomers grew up in that environment - raised by a stay at home mother and with a working father.
• Obviously, though I cite "Modern Family" as an example of this Other-Family Acceptance thing, I realize that this sort of thing is very recent, where it seems that, in the past, the mention of homosexuality was just that - mentioned. It seems most of these shows never actually "starred" a gay or lesbian person.
• Homosexuality was considered a mental disease until 1973.
• No matter what I say, somebody is going to see me as "ignorant."

Back to advertising. To this day, why do so many commercials selling household products work to appeal to moms? First off, doesn't everybody need some of these products? I am not a mother, but I'm pretty sure that I still need to clean my house every now and again. I haven't bought paper towels in ages, but I do find myself wishing I had some. Oh, and Kix Cereal - "Kid Tested, Mother Approved" - what about fathers, grandparents, adoptive parents, aunts, uncles, and older siblings? Sometimes other people, not just mothers, get stuck with the grocery shopping.

What about Bounty's above "Dance Cooking" commercial? What message is that trying to send? "My husband tried to tell me how to clean the house, but WHAT DOES HE KNOW BECAUSE HE DOESN'T CLEAN THE HOUSE?" What silly husband thinks that it takes three sheets of Bounty to clean up a mess, because it only takes one. Of course!

tl;dr: Advertisers, we're living in the 2012, which is culturally and socially much different from the 1950's. Isn't it time to consider updating your ads a little bit?