Obligatory Superbowl Post: Until Today, I Honestly Thought it was the Patriots and the Packers Playing.

I have no idea why I thought this. Seriously.

Maybe it's just because I kept seeing "Go Pats!", and read it as "Go Packs!" Those damn packs.

I live in an area where football is semi-important to people, I suppose. Actually, I'm surprised that football hasn't taken over the unofficial title of "America's Favorite Past Time." I don't know hardly any baseball fans myself, but I sure do know a hell of a lot of football fans.

Oh yeah, my television said that the Giants and the Patriots played just a few years ago. Was that the year that the Patriots were undefeated all year, and then the Giants snaked the win for them with just a few seconds to go? I remember that play. I tried to explain why it was awesome to my then-boyfriend, who thought I was fucking nuts for trying to explain it to him.

P.S. PEOPLE, PLEASE! If you're going to order pizza, please order it BEFORE 3:00 (MST). Oh, wait, it's 3:18. Crap. Well, my old workplace must be ready for a hell of a night. I hope that all the people that made my life hell that still work there (most of them, even 2-3 years later) have a terrible night. Suckers!

P.S.S. I know I'm shooting myself in the foot with my nice little "product placement" here, but if you're going to get pizza, order from your little local places. All the big chain places really suck.

P.S.S.S If you order delivery, tip your driver. They're missing the Super Bowl because their bosses would otherwise automatically fire them.

7 Methods You Should NOT Use to Advertise Your Book

1. Do not, under any circumstances, go streaking in the middle of a crowded sporting event and write the title of your book in large letters on your back with a sharpie.
2. Skywriting. From what I've seen, this only exists in the movies. However, I do live in Wyoming, so maybe this does occur in larger towns, and I've just never seen it.
• 2a. Skywriting in Wyoming as a form of advertisement is probably a really awful idea.
3. If you or somebody know works delivering pizzas on the side, I would suggest not writing the name of your book on the inside of each pizza box for the people you deliver to to find. This is especially true if you write erotica; opening a pizza box only to find something like "DEEP THRUST" or "MY FIRST LESBIAN EXPERIENCE" might be unnerving for your customers.
4. Myspace. Nobody uses Myspace anymore.
5. If you ever feel the need to take revenge on somebody, and spray-painting graffiti on their property seems like the best way to get back at them, do not take that as an opportunity to squeeze in some free advertising. That said, you would probably make the job of a policeman a little easier that day.
6. I would suggest not asking your drug dealer to "spread the word", especially if you go by the pseudonym of "Heisenberg". 
7. Finally, in all seriousness, telling NOBODY about your book isn't helping anybody. So go on, if nothing else, call your mother and tell her you're a published author.