Modesty?

Taken from Reddit's TwoXChromosomes Subreddit.

To all three (?) of you: what are your thoughts?

See, I have a very weird opinion about this sort of thing...is it okay to dress like a slut?

Actually, I think I'm going to make a poll about that, after I proceed to quickly jot out my thoughts on this one.

First off, what is the problem, really, with women dressing "slutty"? What's the problem with a female choosing to dress herself in, say, a skirt that falls "a little north of the knee" rather than a pair of jeans or a longer skirt? 

Technically, nothing.

The problem is, that's not what I was told.

The problem is, even though it was never a defining problem during my teenage years, there was always a definite message of "don't wear skirts too short" or "that top is too low cut - pick something else". And, even without being told explicitly why, it wasn't difficult to infer the reasoning behind the "modest" ideal.

Naturally then, as I grew up, I started negatively judging other girls around my high school who violated these unwritten "rules". Why do her shorts have to be so damn short? Who is she dressing for? Who is she trying to impress with that skirt? 

As you can see, for some reason, dressing "slutty", in my mind, became, "somebody's trying to impress somebody else". This applied mostly towards the male sex.

"If he really likes you, he'll like you no matter what you wear."

But nowadays, the attitude seems to be changing, and changing rapidly. Or maybe it was always this way, and I was just too deluded to know it.

But now, the more time I spend time online, the more I read, the more apparent it becomes that these women, these "sluts", usually aren't dressing this way to impress other males. Usually, it seems, they're more likely dressing this way for reasons other than just, "I want to impress somebody". Actually, it seems to be somewhat of a confidence booster.

The funny thing is, I remember doing something similar in middle school. I remember wearing this knee-length black skirt for my quarterly choir concerts. I also remember rolling it up underneath my shirt, so that it would rise a little further above my knee. I certainly did not go overboard with this - it probably only rose and inch or two at the most. However, at the fragile age of fourteen, this little "fashion adjustment" seemed important to me. Why was it important? If you had asked me then, I probably couldn't have given you much of an answer. The fact is, I probably couldn't even tell you why I did it now.

Honestly, what do these outfits make you think of?

The first time I heard of the "Slutwalk", I thought the idea of women dressing up in "slutty" clothes and parading around with signs, most of which basically stated "I'll Dress How I Want" seemed slightly ludicrous to me. Sure, ladies, dress how you want, but why are you having a parade about it? However, after reading that it was more or less a movement to change how rape, rape victims, and victim-blaming were viewed, I did warm up to the idea a little more.

For those unfamiliar with the concept of a "Slut Walk", the basic idea is this: nobody "invites" rape. Nobody encourages others to rape them in any way, shape, or form. No action, whether it be a flirtatious move, a conscious choice to drink, or a particular style of dress, is, or should be viewed as, an invitation to rape. Slut Walk New York City's Website sums this up the best:

No matter who you are

No matter where you work 

No matter how you identify 

No matter how you flirt 

No matter what you wear 

No matter whom you choose to love 

No matter what you said before: 

NO ONE has the right to touch you without your consent. SlutWalk NYC is part of a worldwide grassroots movement challenging rape culture, victim-blaming and slut-shaming, and working to end sexual and domestic violence.

And so, with reading so many posts and stories about Slut Walks, and coming more to terms with "slutty dress", I did become somewhat more accepting. I tried to remind myself of these ideas whenever I saw somebody wearing a less than modest outfit. I tried not to vocalize those "I have underwear longer than her shorts!" thoughts. Did they still cross my mind? Absolutely. A few months of scouring the internet does not change many years of upbringing - it just doesn't happen, whether we like it or not. I still find myself conflicted when I see somebody wearing Daisy Duke-like shorts - I still question whether it's "right" or "wrong". Is it right or wrong? Actually, it's neither - in my mind, it's simply just "okay". 

The fact is, almost nobody is ever going to see me dressing "slutty". The fact is, whether it's right, wrong, or just okay, it's not who I am - I am just not comfortable with that kind of outfit, that kind of dress. I don't like wearing shorts so short that the pockets stick out. I hate worrying that my shirt is too low cut and my cleavage is showing. I really dislike worrying about how my legs are positioned when I'm wearing a short skirt or dress. I'm sorry, ladies, but it's just not me. It's not comfortable. But to all of you women who do prefer that style of dress - go for it. Just do it. Why? Because it's your body. If you're comfortable with dressing that way, if you're comfortable showing skin, and if you like showing off your girls, than who am I (or anybody else) to say no?